My Eyebrows: Why, What, When and How

So, I’ve received some e-mails about my eyebrows. Some of you like them, others love them, and some aren’t sure why I’d want to remove them and pencil them in. This is my explanation and reasoning behind why they are the way they are, and look the way they do. Let me just say that although I’m not trying to be rude in any manner, I don’t owe haters any sort of explanation…but I figured I’d give one anyway.

So, when I was younger, I developed a nervous condition known as Trichotillomania, or Trich for short,  which is actually considered an impulse control disorder. Some doctors now classify it as a severe form of OCD – which I also have in other aspects of my every day life, such as electrical appliances. I check electrical appliances at least two times (i.e. my flat iron, my coffee pot, my toaster oven, etc – anything than can cause a fire); doors and windows have to be checked 2-3 times before bed, even if I know they’re locked; I *have* to check on my kids even though they’re teenagers and pre-teen aged twice before I go to bed, etc.  It ties in with my severe panic attacks and anxiety attack disorder, as well as depression. It started around 12-13 years of age, and though I had been to counseling, therapy, tried meds, and other forms of therapy, nothing worked. This disorder developed as a result of extreme traumatic events in my life as a child. It’s important to note that it was something that was beyond my control. The disorder caused me to impulsively pull out hair from various parts of my body, namely eyebrows and eyelashes. It was something I’d find myself doing as I was sitting there spacing out, and when I did it, I felt terrible about myself. Every time I looked in the mirror, I hated the way I looked. I had immediate family members, who were a big cause of the problem (actually, 100% cause of the problem), who would talk about what a freak I was, and how ugly I was. It was extremely hard to deal with, and still is till this day.

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Although my lashes have grown back because I’ve grown out of the ‘pulling’ phase, the eyebrow area is still extremely sparse. I am working on a few different hair regrowth methods that are working, praise God, so while they are growing back, I am still penciling them in and filling them in with brow powder. It’s not a look I chose to go for, it was sort of just something I learned to deal with and have been dealing with and doing for a long time.

At 31 years old, I am still dealing with the disease, and it’s been a life long bout of recovery for me. When I was younger and in school, I had to explain the reason behind the problem more often than I cared to – and it was made worse for me then, because I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup for a long time as a teenager, so there was no covering up the empty brows or missing lashes. It was mortifying.

I just wanted everyone to know that that is the reason why they look the way they do. I’m so incredibly envious of the girls who have those gorgeous, thick eyebrows as I once had – in fact, my eyebrows were likened to Brooke Shields as a child. They were dark, thick, and very pretty.

Now that I’m finally, after long last, healing – I am hoping soon, I can show you guys a new side of me. So, for those who have made nice comments and sent me messages about how you love them, thank you – you’ve done my soul some good. For those who have just not understood and think this is some kind of life choice, now you know the difference. And if you still have something negative, mean, or hateful to say, keep it to yourself because I don’t need to hear about it.

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13 thoughts on “My Eyebrows: Why, What, When and How

  1. I think you’re so beautiful! You’re eyebrows look great! I remember reading a post about you having trichotillomania. Sounds like you’re doing better though and you’ve come a long way. Don’t ever let anyone get you down. They’re just insecure with themselves hun. ❤ xo

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      1. Sarah, I am just being honest! Unlike some people, I was always taught that if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all. Though of course I only have nice things to say to you. ❤ Hugs xo 🙂

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  2. You are beautiful and don’t believe otherwise. This is a classic example of people need to think before they post. Do haters realise how many people are lead to suicide through those types of actions? Well done you for reaching out with this wonderful post. I wonder also if you’ve thought about semi-permanent makeup? I know an amazing lady, the top trainer for the uk and also lectures in the US, she’s called Helen Porter. She literally creates a 3D eyebrow that looks real complete with individual hair strokes xxx 💕

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    1. Emily,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, read my post, and offer your words of kindness. You are SO sweet! Thank you again! I’ve thought about it, yes – I suppose I haven’t looked into it too much. I would love to find out more about her work! Thank you for the recommendation, I appreciate it very much. Please feel free to keep in touch!!

      Sarah

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      1. Thanks so much, Emily! I intend on sharing and spreading awareness as much as I can. Not many people have an understanding of the disorder, and I know I can make a difference in that regard. I am planning on making a very detailed vlog post about it soon, so I will let you know when its up. Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I have a bipolar disorder, and I do believe that we can choose whether to let it rule our lives, or whether it makes us more determined. I am more determined than I have ever been, and from a creative aspect the disorder can actually help me get even more creative! We are what we tell ourselves we are. Whenever I talk to people about my disorder, I make a conscious point of saying ‘I have bipolar’ not ‘I am bipolar’. I get severe anxiety with it, so pushing through those fears and goals feels amazing, but if I don’t, I just tell myself that’s ok too! Just remember, a persons opinion of you is a reflection of themselves. Next time someone leaves a nasty comment, turn it around by thinking ‘I wonder what is going on in their lives to make them feel so sad/angry/bitter etc.’ xxxx

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      3. I so appreciate you sharing a bit of your story with me, Emily. I can sympathize, and understand, Bipolar Disorder because my son has Bipolar 2 Disorder. It’s not been an easy road for my family in dealing and coping with it, but as a family, we stick together and we take each day as it comes. I understand what you must go through because of it. I also understand the anxiety portion, because as you saw in my post, I experience terrifying anxiety and panic attacks myself. It’s not easy, but we push through each episode as it occurs to the best of our ability, right? Some days are good, other days…not so much. But, I truly believe each day is a gift. And for me, if I didn’t have God to rely on to get me through the hardest times…I just don’t know where I would be. So much has happened in my life, and as a result, I go through a lot mentally. You’re right, though; usually, when people poke fun or have something negative to say, they do in fact have something major going on in their own lives. So, I try to look at them with compassion, rather than disgust. I’m a work in progress, I like to say. Every day, I get a little bit better. And I do my best to stay positive through it all, no matter what. 🙂

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